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Short Funny Jokes . . .  funniest in the world!!
 

Welcome to Short Funny Jokes.

On this website you will find jokes that are short and funny! That's right - we have removed all those tedious long jokes, all skull-numbing boring jokes and those melancholy jokes that are  likely to make you cry.

 

And what have we got left?

 

Short Jokes - Funny Jokes - Short funny Jokes.

 

Yipppeeeee!!!!            Enjoy!!!!!!

 

little girl laughing

A recent survey showed that:

* 57% of visitors found our jokes hilarious

* 22% found them almost very funny

* 13% found them teasingly humorous

* 5% were looking for a chemist

* 2% had to rush off to the bathroom

* 1% died

The little girl pictured said, "The jokes were so funny my tonsils very nearly exploded."

 
We hope you enjoy our joke collection - if you have a favourite short funny joke that is not on our site please let us know and we will add it so that others can enjoy it too.
 
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Short Funny Jokes . . .  funniest in the world!!
 
 

This weeks featured jokes:

 

Aardvark jokes

 

What did the impatient waiter ask the gluttonous aardvark?

Is that your final ant, sir!


What do you call a boxing match between two aardvarks?

A snout bout!


"What do you call a pickled aardvark?
A jarredvark!"


"What do you call a Polish aardvark?
A Polaark!"


What do you call a thick-skinned aardvark?

A hardvark!
"What do you call a three-footed aardvark?
A yardvark!"


What do you call an aardvark astronaut?

A starredvark!


"What do you call an aardvark good with a light saber?
A darthvark!"

 

Animal jokes

 

First snake: I hope I'm not poisonous. Second snake: Why? First snake: Because I bit my lip!


There were two cows in a paddock, enjoying the sun and eating some grass. The first cow said "Moo. "And the second cow said "That's funny, I was just about to say that. "


Two goldfish are in a tank when one turns to the other and says "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

 

What do you call a woodpecker without a beak? A headbanger.

 

What's green and has wheels? A Frog  I lied about the wheels
 

Bird jokes

 

What do confused owls say?  Too-whit-to-why?


What do owls sing when it is raining ? 'Too wet to woo' !


What do Scottish owls sing? Owld Lang Syne.


What do you call a bird that lives underground ? A mynah bird !


What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? Dead.


What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning ? An alarm cluck !


What do you call a very rude bird ? A mockingbird !

 

Blonde jokes

 

Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?


Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?


Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?


Did you hear about the blonde who missed the 44 bus? She took the 22 twice instead.


Did you hear about the blonde who put "Sagittarius" at the bottom of application forms where it said "Sign Here".


Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her!


Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?


Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?

 

 
 
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